The Beginning

   The idea of starting a blog has been rolling around in my over-sized head for a while now, and today, on a "wild hair" (as I recently learned rednecks say), I have taken the first steps toward blog world domination.  I've read that one of the most important things to do before starting a blog is to nail down what your overlying topic or theme will be.  Well, strike one.  I have no idea where this will go, really.  If you've ever been privy to my random thought process, you should know that there is no rhyme or reason to the things I think or say.
   I'm not overly opinionated either (the auto-correct just tried to change that to "I'm not overly proportionate"....can they see me through the screen!?!?).  I do have an opinion on what I feel are the most pressing topics in my life.
    I feel very strongly that Worcester Mass is the asshole of Central New England and possibly all of the Northeast.  A very close second is Atlantic City, NJ.  Seriously.  That place might be where Worcester white trash goes to die.

                                       Since when does Worcester have ocean front property?


    It might be accurate to say that I am a resident of Worcester.  That is true.  I do live there at this very moment. My heart (and address on my license), however, will forever be in Boylston.  My home will be there again someday...as soon as I strike it rich from this blogging bizz. Don't get me wrong:  I LOVE the house that I share with my lovely roomate/domestic partner, JRG.  I just sometimes wish that a tornado would come and move us and the house (and our dog Reggie Lewis) to Boylston or some other rural community where leash laws do not exist and Reggie can be an outdoor cat all the time.
     For those of you that have never had the pleasure of visiting the stinky little city known annoyingly as "The Woo", let me give you a few prime examples of why living there is destroying my already tattered soul.  The sidewalks.  The sidewalks, I'm assuming, are made of extremely hot and sticky lava.  That is the only reason I can think of that would cause NO human being in Worcester to ever use one.  "Crosswalk?  What the hell is that?  I'd much rather risk life and limb to slowly drag my ass (and in some cases my Lark) across Lincoln Street on a dark, rainy night".
   All this talk about Worcester has got me hived up and itchy.  One last example of what makes Worcester great:

    This is in Stop and Shop.  That is a grown man carrying around a cage with approximately 20 parakeets in it.  IN THE GROCERY STORE.
    I do have other interests besides bashing Worcester.  I will probably write about my nieces and nephews and the funny things they say.  I might write about how I am part of a workout cult.  I won't mention what it is called because I hate people that talk about it.  You know the one.  The skull and crossbones one.  If I'm really feeling wild and crazy, maybe I'll even talk about my affinity for Durantula and Peyton Manning.  I swear I'll keep things spicy.  Stay tuned and thanks for reading!